Your tits are I can't wait for
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Randomize
