i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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