im drinking this country out of the recession.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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