I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
A+ Viking dick
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
