Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
