Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
