ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Let's get the cat blown out
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
