Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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