it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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