We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
