He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
