guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
