Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
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