i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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