Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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