Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
