if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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