i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
