My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
