he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
