I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
