***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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