You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I wish there were birth control emojis
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
