I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
