No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
