YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
