Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize