You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
