is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
