how can u be prego again
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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