peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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