I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
