A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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