its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
