So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
