I'm so fucking centered right now
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
