what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
