She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Hippo gnu deer
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
