Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
