now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
No subtext here. People are naked.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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