It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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