Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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