can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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