Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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