I've blown a few things in my day
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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