this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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