But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Randomize
