dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
