What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
