also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
