last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So apparently I’m into choking now
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